by
Melodie Campbell
Just in time for Halloween … MESS WITH
ME, DARLIN’?
WATCH ME KILL YOU WITH WORDS.
WATCH ME KILL YOU WITH WORDS.
(Revenge is sweet when coupled with
royalties.)
Here’s some news for all those
sociopaths out there, and just plain nasties: Don’t mess with a crime writer. We know at least twenty ways to kill you and
not get caught.
On paper, of course <insert nervous
laughter>. We’re talking about fictional kills here.
Or
are we?
My name is Melodie Campbell, and I write
comic mob capers for a living. And for the loving. So I know a bit about the
mob. Like espresso and cannoli, you might say they come with my Sicilian
background.
This should make people nervous. (Hell,
it makes ME nervous.)
But I digress. To recap: the question offered was:
Are any of your victims based on people who pissed you off in
real life? Do you ever take out real life rage on fictional murder victims?
Oh sweetie, don’t I ever.
One of the joys of being a writer is
playing out scenarios in your fiction that you dream about at night. One of these is murder. (The other is sex, but that would be my other
series, the Rowena fantasy one.)
Back to grievous bodily harm. Like in Gilbert
and Sullivan’s Mikado, I have my little list.
To the covert colleague who made out to
be friends and then bad-mouthed me to the board at a previous job. Yes, you got caught red-handed. I called your
bluff. But better than that, I made your
mealy-mouthed sorry hide a star of THE GODDAUGHTER’S REVENGE. Take that, Carmine the rat. You live forever in fictional history.
He never will be missed.
Oh, the joy of creating bad guys and
gals from real-life creeps! The crafty
thing is, when you design a villain based on people you have met in person and
experienced in technicolor, they sound real. Colorful. Their motivations are believable. No cardboard
characters here!
Of course, I may fudge a few details to
keep out of jail. Names and professions change. Males can morph into females.
But fictional murder can be very
satisfying. (Definitely more satisfying than fictional sex.) Revenge is sweet, when coupled with
royalties.
You can ignore that crack about
fictional kills only. Of course we’re only talking books; in my case, light-hearted
murder mysteries, and mob crime capers.
That’s right: mob capers. Like I said:
never mess with a Sicilian Goddaughter.
Melodie Campbell achieved a personal best this year when Library Journal compared her to Janet Evanovich. Her first book, ROWENA THROUGH THE WALL, was an Amazon Top 100 bestseller. Her fifth novel, THE GODDAUGHTER’S REVENGE, has just been released by Orca Books.
Library Journal says this about Melodie`s third novel, The Goddaughter (Orca Books):
``Campbell`s
crime caper is just right for Janet Evanovich fans. Wacky family connections and snappy dialogue
make it impossible not to laugh.``
Okay, I admit it. I would rather be the proud possessor
of a rare gemstone than a lakefront condo with parking. Yes, I know this makes
me weird. Young women today are supposed to crave the security of owning their
own home.
But I say this. Real estate, shmeel
estate. You can’t hold an address in your hand. It doesn’t flash and sparkle
with the intensity of a thousand night stars, or lure you away from the
straight and narrow like a siren from some Greek odyssey.
Let’s face it. Nobody has ever gone to jail for smuggling a one bedroom plus den out of the country.
However, make that a 10-carat cyan blue topaz with a past as long as your arm, and I’d do almost anything to possess it.
But don’t tell the police.
Let’s face it. Nobody has ever gone to jail for smuggling a one bedroom plus den out of the country.
However, make that a 10-carat cyan blue topaz with a past as long as your arm, and I’d do almost anything to possess it.
But don’t tell the police.
THE
GODDAUGHTER’S REVENGE on Amazon http://tinyurl.com/kmgjgsf
THE
GODDAUGHTER on Amazon http://ow.ly/dnObH
