The Holidays are fast
approaching and with them comes stress, both positive and negative, for all of
us but especially for those who struggle with an addiction and the people who
love them. Emotions and expectations run high and so many social events include
drinking.
Those of you who have
read one or more of my Malone mysteries know that the subject of alcoholism and
The Twelve Steps of recovery run throughout the series. My main character’s
husband, David, is an alcoholic and his wife, Ann, is affected by his
disease.
If you’re not familiar
with Twelve Step programs, here’s the scoop. The programs were created and are
designed to help people overcome various addictions. For example, there’s AA
for alcoholics, Alanon for the friends and families of alcoholics, OA for
over-eaters, NA for those who are addicted to drugs and many others. Today, I'd
like to talk about Alanon.
Alanon is an anonymous
fellowship. The identities of the people who attend meetings and what's said in
those rooms stays there. “Let go and let God” is one of the slogans in Alanon
and in every Twelve Step program. It's a reminder that we’re not in control;
God is. What does the slogan really mean? It means surrendering our false
sense of control over other people and life in general and getting out of God’s
way. It means taking a deep breath, knowing that He will do for us what we
could never do for ourselves. And it is the biggest stress reliever there
is.
I’m proud to say that
I’ve attended Alanon meetings for the past twenty years. Going to my first
meeting wasn’t easy because, back then, I had a hard time asking for help or
even realizing, much less admitting, that I had a problem. The alcoholic in my
life was the one with the problem, right? Wrong!
Because, like my main
character, Ann, I was affected by the disease of alcoholism and I needed help
dealing with it. I was miserable and desperate to find a solution. Going to
that meeting was the single most important thing I’ve ever done. As it
turned out, I use Alanon every day. Is there still stress in my life? Of
course. But when I remember to use the principles I've learned in Alanon, my
stress is reduced and my life is so much better.
So, if you’re
struggling with another person’s addiction (or your own), I urge you to find a
meeting in your neighborhood. Believe me, no one there will judge you; each
person is struggling or has struggled with many of the same issues you’re
facing. They understand. And, if you try one meeting and don’t feel
comfortable, don’t give up. Find a different meeting. I promise you that you’ll
be very glad you did.
Happy Holidays!
